英文 The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)

Youtube影片The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)的逐字稿與翻譯。

角色：

• Anderson：專家(Expert)，片中的華裔工程師，本片苦主，向客戶提出專業的建議。
• Walter：專案經理(Project Manager)，坐在Anderson左手邊，出一張嘴，負責迎合客戶。
• Mr. Pulis：老闆，Walter左手邊，事實上搞不懂狀況，只想把案子成交。
• Sandra：客戶，坐在老闆左手邊的女士，向Anderson提出需求。
• Justine：設計專員(Design Specialist)，客戶公司的設計專員。

Sandra: Our company has a new strategic initiative to increase market penetration, maximize brand loyalty, and enhance intangible assets.
Sandra: 我們的公司有一項新策略提案來增加市場滲透率，最大化品牌忠誠度及提高無形資產。

Sandra: In pursuit of these objectives, we've started a new project for which we require 7 red lines.
Sandra: 要追求這些目標，我們開始了一項新專案，此專案我們需要七條紅線。

Sandra: I understand your company can help us in this matter.
Sandra: 我知道你們公司能在這件事上幫助我們。

Mr. Pulis: Of course! Walter here will be the Project Manager. Walter, we can do this, can't we?
Mr. Pulis: 當然！Walter是專案經理。Walter，我們能辦得到，對吧？

Walter: Yes, of course.
Walter: 是的，當然。

Walter: Anderson here is our expert in all matters related to drawing red lines.
Walter: Anderson是我們在畫紅線這件事情上的專家。

Walter: We brought him along today to share his professional opinion。
Walter: 我們今天帶他過來分享他的專業意見。

Sandra: Nice to meet you! Well, you all know me.
Sandra: 很高興見到你！恩，我想妳們都知道我了。

Sandra: This is Justine, our company's design specialist.
Sandra: 這位是Justine，我們公司的設計專員。

Justine: Hello.
Justine: 哈囉。

Sandra: We need you to draw seven red lines. All of them strictly perpendicular; some with green ink and some with transparent. Can you do that?
Sandra: 我們需要你畫七條紅線，每一條線必須完美垂直；有些用綠色墨水，有些用透明墨水。你能做得到嗎？

Anderson: No. I'm afraid we...
Anderson: 不行。我怕我們...

Walter: Let's not rush into any hasty answers, Anderson! The task has been set and needs to be carried out. At the end of the day, you are an expert.
Walter: 我們不要倉促地回答阿，Anderson！這件任務已經定案且需要被執行。畢竟，你可是個專家。

Anderson: The term "red line" implies the colour of the line to be red. To draw a red line with green ink is...
Anderson: 「紅線」這個詞意味線的顏色是紅色。用綠色墨水畫紅線是...

Anderson: well if it is not exactly impossible, then it is pretty close to being impossible.
Anderson: 恩，如果不是完全不可能，那麼也是非常接近不可能。

Walter: What does it even mean: "impossible"?
Walter: 「不可能」到底是什麼意思？

Anderson: I mean, it is quite possible that there are some people, say suffering from color blindness, for whom the colour of the lines doesn't really make a difference.
Anderson: 我的意思是，對有色盲的人來說，線的顏色沒什麼差異的情況是有可能的。

Anderson: But I am quite sure that the target audience of your project does not consists solely of such people.
Anderson: 不過我相當確定你們專案的目標聽眾並不單單只包含這些人。

Sandra: So in principle this is possible.
Sandra: 所以原則上這是可能的。

Anderson: I'll simplify.
Anderson: 讓我把事情簡化。

Anderson: A line as such can be drawn with absolutely any ink.
Anderson: 一條線可以使用任意的墨水來畫。

Anderson: But if you want to get a red line, you need to use red ink.
Anderson: 但若你想要畫出一條紅線，那麼你需要用紅色墨水。

Walter: What if we draw them with blue ink?
Walter: 那麼我們用藍色墨水畫呢？

Anderson: It still won't work. If you use blue ink, you will get blue lines.
Anderson: 仍然沒用阿。若你使用藍色墨水，你將會畫出藍色的線。

Anderson: And what exactly did you mean, when you talked about the transparent ink?
Anderson: 另外你剛提到的透明墨水究竟是什麼意思。

Sandra: How to better explain?
Sandra: 該怎麼解釋比較好呢？

Sandra: I'm sure you know what "transparent" means?
Sandra: 我相信你知道「透明」的意思？

Anderson: Yes, I do.
Anderson: 是阿，我知道。

Sandra: And what a "red line" means, I hope I don't need to explain to you?
Sandra: 而且知道「紅線」的意思，我希望我不需要向以解釋吧？

Anderson: Of course not.
Anderson: 當然不需要。

Sandra: Well... You need to draw red lines with transparent ink.
Sandra: 恩...你需要用透明墨水畫出紅線。

Anderson: Could you describe what you imagine the end result would look like?
Anderson: 你能描述一下你想像的結果看起來會是什麼樣子？

Walter: C'mon, Anderson! What do we have here, kindergarten?
Walter: 少來了，Anderson！現在是怎麼了，幼稚園？

Mr. Pulis: Let's not waste our time with these unproductive quarrels.
Mr. Pulis: 我們不要浪費時間在些沒生產力的爭吵上。

Mr. Pulis: The task has been set, the task is plain and clear.
Mr. Pulis: 這任務已經定案了，這任務很清楚。

Mr. Pulis: Now, if you have any specific questions, go ahead.
Mr. Pulis: 那麼，如果你還有任何疑問，請繼續。

Walter: You're the expert here.
Walter: 你是這裡的專家。

Anderson: Alright, let's leave aside the colour for the moment.
Anderson: 好吧，我們暫時把顏色問題放到一邊。

Anderson: You had something there also relating to perpendicularity
Anderson: 你還有一些關於垂直的事？

Sandra: Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.
Sandra: 七條線，全部完美地垂直。

Anderson: To what?
Anderson: 與什麼垂直？

Sandra: Erm, to everythins. Among themselves.
Sandra: 嗯，與所有東西垂直，與這些線本身。

Sandra: I assume you know that perpendicular lines are like.
Sandra: 我想你知道垂直線的樣子。

Walter: Of course he does. He's an expert.
Walter: 他當然知道，他是專家。

Anderson: Two lines can be perpendicular. All seven can't be simultaneously perpendicular to each other.
Anderson: 兩條線可以垂直。七條線全部不能同時互相垂直。

Anderson: I'll show you.
Anderson: 我秀給你看。

Anderson: This is a line, right?
Anderson: 這是一條線，對吧?

Sandra: Yes.
Sandra: 是的。

Anderson: And another. Is it perpendicular to the first line?
Anderson: 而另一條線，它和第一條線是垂直的嗎？

Sandra: Well...
Sandra: 嗯...

Anderson: Yes, it is perpendicular.
Anderson: 是的，是垂直的。

Sandra: Exactly!
Sandra: 沒錯！

Anderson: Wait, wait, I'm not done. And the third one. Is it perpendicular to the first line?
Anderson: 等等，我還沒結束，這是第三條線。這條線與第一條線垂直嗎？

Anderson: Yes it is. But is doesn't cross the second line. They're both parallel. Not perpendicular.
Anderson: 是的，與第一條線垂直。但沒有與第二條線相交。它們兩個是平行的。不是垂直的。

Sandra: I supposed so...
Sandra: 我想是這樣。

Anderson: There it is. Two lines can be perpendicular...
Anderson: 那就是了。兩條線能夠垂直...

Sandra: Can I have the pen?
Sandra: 能給我筆嗎？

Sandra: How about this?
Sandra: 那這樣呢？

Anderson: This is a triangle.
Anderson: 這是一個三角形。

Anderson: It's definitely not perpendicular lines.
Anderson: 這樣絕對不是垂直線。

Anderson: And these are three, not seven.
Anderson: 而且這是三條，不是七條。

Mr. Pulis: Why are they blue?
Mr. Pulis: 為什麼它們是藍色的？

Walter: Indeed. Wanted to ask that myself.
Walter: 的確，我自己也想問那個問題。

Anderson: I have a blue pen with me. This was just a demonstration.
Anderson: 我正好有一隻藍筆。這只是說明。

Mr. Pulis: That's the problem, your lines are blue. Draw them with red ink!
Mr. Pulis: 那就是問題啦，你的線是藍色的。用紅色墨水來畫線。

Anderson: It won't solve the problem.
Anderson:這無法解決問題。

Walter: How do you know before you've tried?
Walter: 你沒試過你怎麼知道？

Walter: Let's draw them with red ink and the let's see.
Walter: 讓我們用紅色墨水畫然後看看。

Anderson: I don't have a red pen with me, but I am completely certain that with red ink the result will still be the same.
Anderson: 我身上沒有紅筆，但我很確定用紅色墨水結果也是一樣。

Walter:　Didn't you tell as earlier that you can only draw red lines with red ink?
Walter: 你稍早不是說你只能用紅墨水畫出紅線不是嗎？

Walter: In facts, yes, I've written it down here!
Walter: 其實，沒錯，我有把它記在這裡！

Walter: And now you want to draw them with a blue ink. Do you want to call these red lines? Walter: 而現在你想要用藍色墨水來畫。你要稱這些是紅線嗎？

Justine: I think I understand. You're not talking about the colour now, right?
Justine: 我想我了解了。你現在不是在談顏色對吧？

Justine: You're talking about that, what do you call it, per...perpen..., dic..dic..
Justine: 你現在在說的是，你們是怎麼稱呼那個，叫垂..垂...

Anderson: Perpendicularity, yes!
Anderson: 垂直，是的！

Mr. Pulis: That's it, now you've confused everyone.
Mr. Pulis: 那就是了，你把每個人都搞混了。

Mr. Pulis: So what exactly is stopping us from doing this?
Mr. Pulis: 那麼到底是什麼阻礙我們做這件事？

Anderson: Geometry.
Anderson: 幾何學。

Sandra: Just ignore it!
Sandra: 就忽略它阿。

Mr. Pulis: We have a task. Seven red lines. It's not twenty, it's just seven.
Mr. Pulis: 我們有一個任務。七條線，不是二十條線，就只是七條線而已。

Mr. Pulis: Anderson, I understand you're a specialist of a narrow field, you don't see the overall picture.
Mr. Pulis: Anderson，我理解你是一個特定領域的專家，你沒有看見全貌。

Mr. Pulis: But surely it's not a difficult task to draw some seven lines!
Mr. Pulis: 但畫七條線肯定不是件困難的事！

Walter: Exactly. Suggest a solution.
Walter: 正是如此，提出一個方法。

Walter: Any fool can criticize, no offence, but you're an expert, you should know that better!
Walter: 任何一個蠢蛋都能批評，無意冒犯，但你是位專家，你應該更清楚。

Anderson: OK, let me draw you two perfectly perpendicular red lines, and I will draw the rest with transparent ink.
Anderson: 好，讓我畫兩條完美垂直的紅線，然後我會用透明墨水還畫剩下的線。

Anderson: They'll be invisible, but I'll draw them.
Anderson: 它們會是看不見的，但我會畫出它們。

Sandra: Would this suit us?
Sandra: 這樣適合我們嗎？

Sandra: Yes, this will suit us.
Sandra: 是的，這適合我們。

Justine: Yes, but at least a couple with green ink.
Justine: 是的，但請至少兩條使用綠色墨水。

Justine: Oh, and I have another question, if I may.
Justine: 喔，如果可以，我還有另一個問題。

Justine: Can you draw one of the lines in the form of a kitten?
Justine: 你能用一個小貓的形狀來畫其中一條線嗎？

Anderson: A what?
Anderson: 一個什麼？

Justine: In the form of a kitten.
Justine: 一個小貓的形狀。

Justine: Market research tells our users like cute animals. It would be really great if...
Justine: 市場研究發現我們的使用者喜歡可愛動物，如果可以...會非常棒。

Anderson: No.
Anderson: 不。

Justine: Why?
Justine: 為什麼？

Anderson: Look, I can of course draw you a cat.
Anderson: 聽著，我當然可以畫一隻貓給你。

Anderson: I'm no artist, but I can give it a try.
Anderson: 我不是藝術家，但我可以試試。

Anderson: But it won't be a line any more. It will be a cat.
Anderson: 但那樣就不是一條線了，那會是一隻貓。

Anderson: A line and a cat, those are two different things.
Anderson: 一條線和一隻貓，那是兩個不一樣的東西。

Sandra: A kitten. Not a cat, but a kitten.
Sandra: 一隻小貓。不是一隻貓，而是一隻小貓。

Sandra: It's little, cute, cuddly. Cats, on the other hand...
Sandra: 小的，可愛的，想抱緊的。至於貓，在另一方面...

Anderson: It doesn't make a difference.
Anderson: 這沒有差別阿。

Walter: Anderson, at least hear her out!
Walter: Anderson，至少聽完她說完！

Walter: She hasn't even finished speaking, and you're already saying "No!"
Walter: 她都還沒說完話，你就準備要說＂不＂了。

Anderson: I got the idea, but it is impossible to draw a line in the form of a cat..ten.
Anderson: 我有主意了，但用..小..貓的形狀來畫線是不可能的。

Justine: What about a bird?
Justine: 那鳥呢？

Mr. Pulis: So, where did we stop? What are we doing?
Mr. Pulis: 那麼，我們停在哪了？我們要做什麼？

Walter: Seven red lines, two with red ink, two with green ink and rest with transparent.
Walter: 七條紅線，兩條用紅色墨水，兩條用綠色墨水，剩下的用透明墨水。

Walter: Did I understand correctly?
Walter: 我理解正確嗎？

Sandra: Yes.
Sandra: 沒錯。

Mr. Pulis: Excellent! In which case that's everything, right?
Mr. Pulis: 好極了！這就是這案子的全部了，對嗎？

Justine: Oh, I almost forgot, we also have a red balloon.
Justine: 喔，我差點忘了，我們還有一顆紅色氣球。

Justine: Do you know if you could inflate it?
Justine: 不知道你們可以幫它充氣嗎？

Anderson: What do I have to do with balloons?
Anderson: 我要對氣球做什麼？

Justine: It's red.
Justine: 它是紅色的。

Mr. Pulis: Anderson, can you or can you not do this? A simple question.
Mr. Pulis: Anderson，你能還是不能做到？簡單的問題。

Anderson: As such, I can of course, but...
Anderson: 像這樣，我當然可以，但...

Mr. Pulis: Excellent. Organize a business trip, we'll cover the expenses, go over to their location, inflate the balloon.
Mr. Pulis: 太好了，規畫一個出差旅行，我們將會負擔費用，去他們那裏幫氣球打氣。

Mr. Pulis: Well this was very productive, thank you all!
Mr. Pulis: 嗯，這次非常有建設性，感謝各位！

Justine: Can I ask you one more question, please?
Justine: 我能再請問你一個問題嗎？

Justine: When you inflate the balloon, could you do it in the form of a kitten? Justine: 當你幫氣球打氣時，你能夠用小貓的形狀來做嗎？

Anderson: Of course, I can!
Anderson: 當然，我可以！

Anderson: I can do anything, I can do absolutely anything.
Anderson: 我可以做任何事，我絕對可以辦得到任何事。

Anderson: I'm an expert!
Anderson: 我是個專家！