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2019/7/7

英文 The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)

Youtube影片The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)的逐字稿與翻譯。

角色:

  • Anderson:專家(Expert),片中的華裔工程師,本片苦主,向客戶提出專業的建議。
  • Walter:專案經理(Project Manager),坐在Anderson左手邊,出一張嘴,負責迎合客戶。
  • Mr. Pulis:老闆,Walter左手邊,事實上搞不懂狀況,只想把案子成交。
  • Sandra:客戶,坐在老闆左手邊的女士,向Anderson提出需求。
  • Justine:設計專員(Design Specialist),客戶公司的設計專員。

Sandra: Our company has a new strategic initiative to increase market penetration, maximize brand loyalty, and enhance intangible assets.
Sandra: 我們的公司有一項新策略提案來增加市場滲透率,最大化品牌忠誠度及提高無形資產。

Sandra: In pursuit of these objectives, we've started a new project for which we require 7 red lines.
Sandra: 要追求這些目標,我們開始了一項新專案,此專案我們需要七條紅線。

Sandra: I understand your company can help us in this matter.
Sandra: 我知道你們公司能在這件事上幫助我們。

Mr. Pulis: Of course! Walter here will be the Project Manager. Walter, we can do this, can't we?
Mr. Pulis: 當然!Walter是專案經理。Walter,我們能辦得到,對吧?

Walter: Yes, of course.
Walter: 是的,當然。

Walter: Anderson here is our expert in all matters related to drawing red lines.
Walter: Anderson是我們在畫紅線這件事情上的專家。

Walter: We brought him along today to share his professional opinion。
Walter: 我們今天帶他過來分享他的專業意見。

Sandra: Nice to meet you! Well, you all know me.
Sandra: 很高興見到你!恩,我想妳們都知道我了。

Sandra: This is Justine, our company's design specialist.
Sandra: 這位是Justine,我們公司的設計專員。

Justine: Hello.
Justine: 哈囉。

Sandra: We need you to draw seven red lines. All of them strictly perpendicular; some with green ink and some with transparent. Can you do that?
Sandra: 我們需要你畫七條紅線,每一條線必須完美垂直;有些用綠色墨水,有些用透明墨水。你能做得到嗎?

Anderson: No. I'm afraid we...
Anderson: 不行。我怕我們...

Walter: Let's not rush into any hasty answers, Anderson! The task has been set and needs to be carried out. At the end of the day, you are an expert.
Walter: 我們不要倉促地回答阿,Anderson!這件任務已經定案且需要被執行。畢竟,你可是個專家。

Anderson: The term "red line" implies the colour of the line to be red. To draw a red line with green ink is...
Anderson: 「紅線」這個詞意味線的顏色是紅色。用綠色墨水畫紅線是...

Anderson: well if it is not exactly impossible, then it is pretty close to being impossible.
Anderson: 恩,如果不是完全不可能,那麼也是非常接近不可能。

Walter: What does it even mean: "impossible"?
Walter: 「不可能」到底是什麼意思?

Anderson: I mean, it is quite possible that there are some people, say suffering from color blindness, for whom the colour of the lines doesn't really make a difference.
Anderson: 我的意思是,對有色盲的人來說,線的顏色沒什麼差異的情況是有可能的。

Anderson: But I am quite sure that the target audience of your project does not consists solely of such people.
Anderson: 不過我相當確定你們專案的目標聽眾並不單單只包含這些人。

Sandra: So in principle this is possible.
Sandra: 所以原則上這是可能的。

Anderson: I'll simplify.
Anderson: 讓我把事情簡化。

Anderson: A line as such can be drawn with absolutely any ink.
Anderson: 一條線可以使用任意的墨水來畫。

Anderson: But if you want to get a red line, you need to use red ink.
Anderson: 但若你想要畫出一條紅線,那麼你需要用紅色墨水。

Walter: What if we draw them with blue ink?
Walter: 那麼我們用藍色墨水畫呢?

Anderson: It still won't work. If you use blue ink, you will get blue lines.
Anderson: 仍然沒用阿。若你使用藍色墨水,你將會畫出藍色的線。

Anderson: And what exactly did you mean, when you talked about the transparent ink?
Anderson: 另外你剛提到的透明墨水究竟是什麼意思。

Sandra: How to better explain?
Sandra: 該怎麼解釋比較好呢?

Sandra: I'm sure you know what "transparent" means?
Sandra: 我相信你知道「透明」的意思?

Anderson: Yes, I do.
Anderson: 是阿,我知道。

Sandra: And what a "red line" means, I hope I don't need to explain to you?
Sandra: 而且知道「紅線」的意思,我希望我不需要向以解釋吧?

Anderson: Of course not.
Anderson: 當然不需要。

Sandra: Well... You need to draw red lines with transparent ink.
Sandra: 恩...你需要用透明墨水畫出紅線。

Anderson: Could you describe what you imagine the end result would look like?
Anderson: 你能描述一下你想像的結果看起來會是什麼樣子?

Walter: C'mon, Anderson! What do we have here, kindergarten?
Walter: 少來了,Anderson!現在是怎麼了,幼稚園?

Mr. Pulis: Let's not waste our time with these unproductive quarrels.
Mr. Pulis: 我們不要浪費時間在些沒生產力的爭吵上。

Mr. Pulis: The task has been set, the task is plain and clear.
Mr. Pulis: 這任務已經定案了,這任務很清楚。

Mr. Pulis: Now, if you have any specific questions, go ahead.
Mr. Pulis: 那麼,如果你還有任何疑問,請繼續。

Walter: You're the expert here.
Walter: 你是這裡的專家。

Anderson: Alright, let's leave aside the colour for the moment.
Anderson: 好吧,我們暫時把顏色問題放到一邊。

Anderson: You had something there also relating to perpendicularity
Anderson: 你還有一些關於垂直的事?

Sandra: Seven lines, all strictly perpendicular.
Sandra: 七條線,全部完美地垂直。

Anderson: To what?
Anderson: 與什麼垂直?

Sandra: Erm, to everythins. Among themselves.
Sandra: 嗯,與所有東西垂直,與這些線本身。

Sandra: I assume you know that perpendicular lines are like.
Sandra: 我想你知道垂直線的樣子。

Walter: Of course he does. He's an expert.
Walter: 他當然知道,他是專家。

Anderson: Two lines can be perpendicular. All seven can't be simultaneously perpendicular to each other.
Anderson: 兩條線可以垂直。七條線全部不能同時互相垂直。

Anderson: I'll show you.
Anderson: 我秀給你看。

Anderson: This is a line, right?
Anderson: 這是一條線,對吧?

Sandra: Yes.
Sandra: 是的。

Anderson: And another. Is it perpendicular to the first line?
Anderson: 而另一條線,它和第一條線是垂直的嗎?

Sandra: Well...
Sandra: 嗯...

Anderson: Yes, it is perpendicular.
Anderson: 是的,是垂直的。

Sandra: Exactly!
Sandra: 沒錯!

Anderson: Wait, wait, I'm not done. And the third one. Is it perpendicular to the first line?
Anderson: 等等,我還沒結束,這是第三條線。這條線與第一條線垂直嗎?

Anderson: Yes it is. But is doesn't cross the second line. They're both parallel. Not perpendicular.
Anderson: 是的,與第一條線垂直。但沒有與第二條線相交。它們兩個是平行的。不是垂直的。

Sandra: I supposed so...
Sandra: 我想是這樣。

Anderson: There it is. Two lines can be perpendicular...
Anderson: 那就是了。兩條線能夠垂直...

Sandra: Can I have the pen?
Sandra: 能給我筆嗎?

Sandra: How about this?
Sandra: 那這樣呢?

Anderson: This is a triangle.
Anderson: 這是一個三角形。

Anderson: It's definitely not perpendicular lines.
Anderson: 這樣絕對不是垂直線。

Anderson: And these are three, not seven.
Anderson: 而且這是三條,不是七條。

Mr. Pulis: Why are they blue?
Mr. Pulis: 為什麼它們是藍色的?

Walter: Indeed. Wanted to ask that myself.
Walter: 的確,我自己也想問那個問題。

Anderson: I have a blue pen with me. This was just a demonstration.
Anderson: 我正好有一隻藍筆。這只是說明。

Mr. Pulis: That's the problem, your lines are blue. Draw them with red ink!
Mr. Pulis: 那就是問題啦,你的線是藍色的。用紅色墨水來畫線。

Anderson: It won't solve the problem.
Anderson:這無法解決問題。

Walter: How do you know before you've tried?
Walter: 你沒試過你怎麼知道?

Walter: Let's draw them with red ink and the let's see.
Walter: 讓我們用紅色墨水畫然後看看。

Anderson: I don't have a red pen with me, but I am completely certain that with red ink the result will still be the same.
Anderson: 我身上沒有紅筆,但我很確定用紅色墨水結果也是一樣。

Walter: Didn't you tell as earlier that you can only draw red lines with red ink?
Walter: 你稍早不是說你只能用紅墨水畫出紅線不是嗎?

Walter: In facts, yes, I've written it down here!
Walter: 其實,沒錯,我有把它記在這裡!

Walter: And now you want to draw them with a blue ink. Do you want to call these red lines? Walter: 而現在你想要用藍色墨水來畫。你要稱這些是紅線嗎?

Justine: I think I understand. You're not talking about the colour now, right?
Justine: 我想我了解了。你現在不是在談顏色對吧?

Justine: You're talking about that, what do you call it, per...perpen..., dic..dic..
Justine: 你現在在說的是,你們是怎麼稱呼那個,叫垂..垂...

Anderson: Perpendicularity, yes!
Anderson: 垂直,是的!

Mr. Pulis: That's it, now you've confused everyone.
Mr. Pulis: 那就是了,你把每個人都搞混了。

Mr. Pulis: So what exactly is stopping us from doing this?
Mr. Pulis: 那麼到底是什麼阻礙我們做這件事?

Anderson: Geometry.
Anderson: 幾何學。

Sandra: Just ignore it!
Sandra: 就忽略它阿。

Mr. Pulis: We have a task. Seven red lines. It's not twenty, it's just seven.
Mr. Pulis: 我們有一個任務。七條線,不是二十條線,就只是七條線而已。

Mr. Pulis: Anderson, I understand you're a specialist of a narrow field, you don't see the overall picture.
Mr. Pulis: Anderson,我理解你是一個特定領域的專家,你沒有看見全貌。

Mr. Pulis: But surely it's not a difficult task to draw some seven lines!
Mr. Pulis: 但畫七條線肯定不是件困難的事!

Walter: Exactly. Suggest a solution.
Walter: 正是如此,提出一個方法。

Walter: Any fool can criticize, no offence, but you're an expert, you should know that better!
Walter: 任何一個蠢蛋都能批評,無意冒犯,但你是位專家,你應該更清楚。

Anderson: OK, let me draw you two perfectly perpendicular red lines, and I will draw the rest with transparent ink.
Anderson: 好,讓我畫兩條完美垂直的紅線,然後我會用透明墨水還畫剩下的線。

Anderson: They'll be invisible, but I'll draw them.
Anderson: 它們會是看不見的,但我會畫出它們。

Sandra: Would this suit us?
Sandra: 這樣適合我們嗎?

Sandra: Yes, this will suit us.
Sandra: 是的,這適合我們。

Justine: Yes, but at least a couple with green ink.
Justine: 是的,但請至少兩條使用綠色墨水。

Justine: Oh, and I have another question, if I may.
Justine: 喔,如果可以,我還有另一個問題。

Justine: Can you draw one of the lines in the form of a kitten?
Justine: 你能用一個小貓的形狀來畫其中一條線嗎?

Anderson: A what?
Anderson: 一個什麼?

Justine: In the form of a kitten.
Justine: 一個小貓的形狀。

Justine: Market research tells our users like cute animals. It would be really great if...
Justine: 市場研究發現我們的使用者喜歡可愛動物,如果可以...會非常棒。

Anderson: No.
Anderson: 不。

Justine: Why?
Justine: 為什麼?

Anderson: Look, I can of course draw you a cat.
Anderson: 聽著,我當然可以畫一隻貓給你。

Anderson: I'm no artist, but I can give it a try.
Anderson: 我不是藝術家,但我可以試試。

Anderson: But it won't be a line any more. It will be a cat.
Anderson: 但那樣就不是一條線了,那會是一隻貓。

Anderson: A line and a cat, those are two different things.
Anderson: 一條線和一隻貓,那是兩個不一樣的東西。

Sandra: A kitten. Not a cat, but a kitten.
Sandra: 一隻小貓。不是一隻貓,而是一隻小貓。

Sandra: It's little, cute, cuddly. Cats, on the other hand...
Sandra: 小的,可愛的,想抱緊的。至於貓,在另一方面...

Anderson: It doesn't make a difference.
Anderson: 這沒有差別阿。

Walter: Anderson, at least hear her out!
Walter: Anderson,至少聽完她說完!

Walter: She hasn't even finished speaking, and you're already saying "No!"
Walter: 她都還沒說完話,你就準備要說"不"了。

Anderson: I got the idea, but it is impossible to draw a line in the form of a cat..ten.
Anderson: 我有主意了,但用..小..貓的形狀來畫線是不可能的。

Justine: What about a bird?
Justine: 那鳥呢?

Mr. Pulis: So, where did we stop? What are we doing?
Mr. Pulis: 那麼,我們停在哪了?我們要做什麼?

Walter: Seven red lines, two with red ink, two with green ink and rest with transparent.
Walter: 七條紅線,兩條用紅色墨水,兩條用綠色墨水,剩下的用透明墨水。

Walter: Did I understand correctly?
Walter: 我理解正確嗎?

Sandra: Yes.
Sandra: 沒錯。

Mr. Pulis: Excellent! In which case that's everything, right?
Mr. Pulis: 好極了!這就是這案子的全部了,對嗎?

Justine: Oh, I almost forgot, we also have a red balloon.
Justine: 喔,我差點忘了,我們還有一顆紅色氣球。

Justine: Do you know if you could inflate it?
Justine: 不知道你們可以幫它充氣嗎?

Anderson: What do I have to do with balloons?
Anderson: 我要對氣球做什麼?

Justine: It's red.
Justine: 它是紅色的。

Mr. Pulis: Anderson, can you or can you not do this? A simple question.
Mr. Pulis: Anderson,你能還是不能做到?簡單的問題。

Anderson: As such, I can of course, but...
Anderson: 像這樣,我當然可以,但...

Mr. Pulis: Excellent. Organize a business trip, we'll cover the expenses, go over to their location, inflate the balloon.
Mr. Pulis: 太好了,規畫一個出差旅行,我們將會負擔費用,去他們那裏幫氣球打氣。

Mr. Pulis: Well this was very productive, thank you all!
Mr. Pulis: 嗯,這次非常有建設性,感謝各位!

Justine: Can I ask you one more question, please?
Justine: 我能再請問你一個問題嗎?

Justine: When you inflate the balloon, could you do it in the form of a kitten? Justine: 當你幫氣球打氣時,你能夠用小貓的形狀來做嗎?

Anderson: Of course, I can!
Anderson: 當然,我可以!

Anderson: I can do anything, I can do absolutely anything.
Anderson: 我可以做任何事,我絕對可以辦得到任何事。

Anderson: I'm an expert!
Anderson: 我是個專家!

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